Archive | December, 2012

I yelled at Gia this morning.

14 Dec

I am not typically a yeller. But sometimes my kindergartener pushes me to the brink. She is a lot like me. And I remember the same thing happening with my mom. I would push and push and push and finally she would break. Like a piece of glass. With shards everywhere.

I had already apologized. I had already said I was really sorry for yelling because it is not the right thing to do. I had already told her that as much as that was wrong not listening (six times to put on a coat) is not appropriate and to treat others the way you want to be treated (hypocrite yes. I see the irony.)

And then I read this.

Tears started flowing.  Chills ran down my spine.  The breath from my lungs was not attainable.  Fear.  Anxiety.  The list goes on.

Suddenly my perspective was crystal clear.  How lucky I am to have a kindergartener with opinions, aggravations and laughter.  How yelling (a small act of violence) is not acceptable and how who we are creates what our children become.  And the violence that they are exposed to (via games, movies, home, reality) is what desynthesizes them and somehow makes acts like this seem like an ok idea to act upon.

Being a mom is the best gift I have ever been given.  Along with it comes the most intense love that I can ever feel.  Thus, great vulnerability.

My heart goes out and I am praying for the parents of those sweet babies.  Precious babies that may have been expecting a gingerbread man post card today.  I am praying that they each of those families had those blissful mornings.  And none of them are having remorse about any of their actions today.  Because tonight begins a nightmare that will not end for those poor parents.

May peace be with each of you today.  Your pain is pain that no human should ever experience.

And if you are like me- and blessed with happy, vivacious children.  Hold them tight.  And love them.  And be who you want them to become.  Because we are blessed to ask six times for them to put a coat on.  Blessed beyond words.

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